Overwhelmed? Try this!
I don’t know about y’all but when I’m overwhelmed my brain feels like a tangled web of spaghetti and I have a hard time making sense of things. Has this ever been you?
Picture this (adapted from Noom):
Its 2pm on a Sunday. You’ve put off all of your errands for the week. You’re rushing around trying to get to the grocery, pick up the house, respond to emails, call your mom back, reply to 100 group text threads, get the kids ready for school tomorrow, fill up the car with gas, throw in a load of laundry… all before its time for dinner.
I’ve got too much on my plate
I shouldn’t have waited until the last minute.
Nobody ever helps around here
There’s not enough of me to go around.
Ever felt this way? Here are two things that I like to do when the mental clutter becomes too much.
Brain Dump
All you need to do a brain dump is a piece of paper, a pen and 5 minutes. Set your timer and start writing down anything and everything on your mind. Nothing is off limits and you don’t have to share this list with anyone - ever!.
Sometimes thats all I need to declutter my mind and get a little perspective. But if you related to the picture I painted above, then you will find this next strategy super helpful. Its a quick way to make sense of what needs to be done now and what can wait for later. Try this anytime you are feeling overwhelmed by your to do list and need to get a truer picture of what needs to be done today.
Eisenhower Matrix
The Eisenhower Matrix is a quadrant that helps you decide whats important, not importnat, urgent and not-urgent. It helps you bucket tasks so that you can determine what is a DO NOW task (important and urgent) vs SCHEDULE task (important but not urgent).
One way I like to use it is to take my brain dump and put each items in one of the four quardrants. Usually I find that the tasks I thought were important and urgent are actually important and not urgent or can totally be deleted.
Lets break it down:
IMPORTANT / URGENT TASKS
These are things that you must do now. In reality, there are very few of these tasks. In our overwhelm we often group everything into this DO NOW category - and find ourselves running around on a Sunday to get it all done. Here are some examples of actual important/urgent tasks -
Tax Day
Taking care of a sick kid
Some household chores (making sure family has clothes to wear and food to eat for TODAY)
Fender bender
Computer virus
Flooded basement
Middle of the night comfort
some homework
IMPORTANT / NOT URGENT TASKS
These are things that are important but don’t have to be done right now. Rather than doing these things now, we need to schedule a time to complete them and make a plan. These are the meaty tasks where we really hone our vision for our lives and make it a reality. I like to call these lifetime happiness drivers and help us craft a life we enjoy. Examples -
meal planning
self care
exercising
budgeting
goal setting
organizing + decluttering
informal education - baking, tying shoes, getting dressed, thrwoing the ball, riding a bike
potty training
regular medical visits
NOT IMPORTANT / URGENT TASKS
These are things that not important (or essential) but still need to be done. These are great tasks for delegation. These are the tasks you need to ASK FOR HELP!
I’ve found that these tasks are the ones that make us feel productive - replying to an email, making phone calls or even meal prep. These are things that we can cross off our to-do list and it makes us feel like we are doing something. These tasks are often mistaken for Important/Urgent tasks but rarely contribute to our overall happiness.
Having trouble identifying these types of tasks? Ask this - Does this require my specific skill to accomplish or is this something someone else could get done? There is only one mom for your kids, no one can replace YOU! But you can pay someone to do your laundry, you can get to-go food one night, you can have your house cleaned every once in awhile (or ask for help from a friend, relative or spouse).
When I think of this quadrant, a few things come to mind for me. These are things that are not bad or wrong but when I really dig deep, I know that even without them our lives are full and my lifetime happiness is unaffected.
finding the perfect living room pillows before my in-laws come in town
crafting the perfect halloween costumes for the kids
over the top craft projects with the kids
instagram level meal prep
replying to group text chains in real time
hosting the perfect thanksgiving dinner
In short, when it comes to choosing between being a stressed mom with perfectly carved pumpkins versus a joyful mom with orange globes on her porch, I’m trying to choose the latter.
Not Important/Non-Urgent Tasks:
If you are struggling to find time in your schedule, this quadrant is a good place to look. Think social media scrolling, watching TV, playing video games, shopping sprees, Craiglist/FBMP surfing, online browsing, group text chats and even avoiding things like organizing (procrastination). The good news is that all of these can be deleted or at a minimum dialed down to make room for the most important things.
What do you think? Will you try one of these mental clutter combators?
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